|
Post by Parker Williams on Feb 27, 2006 23:41:20 GMT -5
Screw dinner. Basically, once a week, Parker would skip dinner, go fly for hours, then sneak down to the kitchens and get some food. It was basically her routine. Things had been so hectic she needed a routine to stick to. It gave her something constant, something to hold onto. Remus was dating Kara, which was great, but she was afraid of loosing a best friend. Maybe it was time for her to grow up...maybe it was time to let herself fall in love. Maybe finding a constant boyfriend wouldn't be so bad right now. But whatever, maybe she wouldn't worry so much about it. Urg, this was so frustrating, being lost in her thoughts, being lost in her feelings...which she was taught were useless anyways.
Being able to fly like this, by herself, was freeing. It helped her relieve stress, helped her cope with things going on. Her cropped sunkissed hair was up in a tiny ponytail and she wasn't wearing her robes, but ripped jeans and a black tanktop underneath a black track-jacket. It was casual, but warm enough for the cold harshness of March. Spring was soon approaching, and things were likely to get gorgeous and well...spring-like soon enough. Spring just happened to be her favorite season. The bitter cold of winter with the sunshine and blossoms of summer. Not to mention her birthday was March 11th. .
She dropped down from the air to the ground, touching down and smiling as she stood watching the sunset, taking her hair out of the ponytail to let the wind blow through it. It was a calming sensation, having the wind blow through her hair, caressing her skin. The light hit her perfectly, casting a glow that made it seem like she herself was ethereal, glowing with such a passion that it made her aura positively cleansed. It was, what she believed to be, the best feeling ever.
|
|
|
Post by sirius on Feb 28, 2006 15:43:54 GMT -5
Sirius wandered down to the Quidditch Pitch, not really in the mood to fly. Although, he was only in the mood to fly when he had troubles that he thought couldn't be fit by just moping around the place and pissing and moaning about stuff that rarely matter. He sighed, running a hand through his black hair, which, as usual, just casually fell back into his eyes.
He had skipped dinner, not exactly having an appetite either. He had ignored the questions asked by James, Remus, and Peter as to why he wasn't eating since he usually ate like a dog (which was kind of ironic, considering his Animagus form was a big black dog). He saw Parker flying in the air and then gracefully land onto the grass, the sunlight hitting her at an exact angle and making it look as if she was shining with radiance. He gawked at her, taken by her beauty. He shook his head, not wanting to look like an idiot.
He continued to gaze at Parker, remembering their short yet horrible relationship back in fourth year. Boy, had that been horrendous. They had always been fighting and whenever anybody saw them, they looked ready to kill the other. He smirked and shook his head in amusement, remembering all the little things they used to argue about. It had actually been a good thing when they had broke up. It certainly caused things to be a lot less quieter and now they were best friends. He just wanted to be best friends or at least friends with a girl before he started a relationship.
Woah! Wait! What was that last thought? Was that actually Sirius Black thinking that? (hehe. That rhymed. Black and that. Sorry, blame the soda.) Well that was a shock. Usually, he would just start to go out with a girl based on beauty, although he did go out with a girl based on her personality as well. The girl had to at least make him laugh at times. Although, he would never tell his best mates that for fear of them teasing him and telling him he's breaking one of the Marauders' Codes. He shook his head to clear his thoughts before making his way over to Parker.
"Hey Parker." He said, flashing her a smile and running a hand through his hair. He looked around the pitch, hardly daring to believe that it was actually this deserted. He shrugged to himself before switching his gaze back to Parker.
|
|
|
Post by Parker Williams on Mar 10, 2006 17:59:47 GMT -5
Parker turned toward the voice behind her, a the much taller shadow hovering over her. She grinned at the boy behind her. One of the three or four people she didn't mind being around right now. Still couldn't the boy tell when people wanted alonetime? She was contemplating...her knew her well enough to know that. In fact, Sirius had always been one of her best friends, except you know, when they went out...which was a whole nother story in itself. She wondered why they were the way they were.
But that didn't matter now, what she was thinking about was boyfriends. As much as it would ruin her spotless reputation to admit it, Parker actually wanted a boyfriend. She was sixteen years old, and never had a relationship last more than five months, that was her record. Parker actually wanted to be in love. She wanted to get the butterflies, and she wanted a relationship to last more than six months. It was her birthday tomorrow, she was going to be seventeen! She was more excited than she would like to admit, but being an adult was going to be good. She was finally going to be on her own. She had gotten a card from her mother already, and her she awaited word from her father, because this was sometimes the only contact she had with him anyways. But seventeen was a big number for her, so what was her goal? To fall in love, but to never change who she is...well she could probably grow up a whole lot this year, and she hoped she would.
Back to reality...where had this train of thoughts started? With her and Sirius or with her and boyfriends in general? And if it was the first, why would her thinking about him make her think the way she had? She had been very confused on how exactly she was feeling about him. She would love to be more then friends...wait...what was she thinking?! She did not just think that! 'Okay Parker...calm down, its just...not possible that you're thinking that you like Sirius Black...right? No you're okay...you're only talking to yourself. Maybe it wouldn't be so horrible to like him...' She realized that she been smiling at him without saying anything for a very long time...
"Hey! Can't you see when someone is having thoughts?" She joked, grinning at him again, trademark glimmer in her blue eyes.
|
|
|
Post by sirius on Mar 10, 2006 18:09:31 GMT -5
Sirius stared at Parker as she gazed at him, a smile gracing her beautiful features. Once he saw her snap out of her thoughts, he smiled, shaking his head in amusement. He gazed back at Parker and ran a hand through his hair again. He mentally kicked himself. Boy was he hanging around James Potter too much. He was starting to run a hand through his hair whenever he was around girls now. Curse James! He smiled at that thought.
Grey orbs shined with happiness as he looked at Parker and he laughed, his bark-like laugh resounding throughout the whole Quidditch Pitch, in it's glory. "Sorry, I didn't notice. You just seemed a bit dazed. I thought you had gone mad for a moment." He answered smartly, grinning. He glanced around the Pitch for a few moments, wondering why it was so quiet and peaceful. He shrugged to himself, thinking the Pitch was the perfect place to come to if he needed to think, besides the dungeons. Although the dungeons was Slytherin turf.
He resided to taking a seat on the bench and motioned for Parker to join him. He smiled at her, a little surprised that she and he were best friend even though they had had that horrible row which had caused the whole Gryffindor house to wake up to their shouts and yells. He sighed deeply and stared ahead of him, unsure of what to say. He wanted to be more than 'just friends' with Parker, but he knew that would never happen. She was too good for him. There! He admitted it! See, he wasn't being egotistical. Parker was better than him at everything and now he had no trouble admitting it.
|
|
|
Post by Parker Williams on Mar 10, 2006 18:23:43 GMT -5
"You know usually people who look dazed are in the middle of thinking you git..." She laughed, and went to sit next to him. It was strange...but there was something different that she felt at the exact moment she sat next to him and put her head on his shoulder. She realized that maybe she was growing up, but maybe they could be something more...nah. The two were both too stubborn and too independant...and most of all too easily bored. Well, she knew if she was really in love and committed, that she wouldn't get bored, but even though he was one of her best friends, she wasn't sure how much he'd grown up.
"Have you ever wondered what it would be like if we hadn't dated in fourth year? Like...if we'd just've waited a few more years maybe things would be different?" She asked him, half to make conversation, half because she wanted to know. But as she asked the question, and assessed the position she was in and just hanging out with him...she noticed what was different at this moment...butterflies. Parker Williams actually had butterflies. And that would be the exact moment how she really felt about him...could she really commit to him, could he even still like her? All of the sudden things were very different.
Maybe this was just the moment...maybe it was just her confusing a best friend who she loved...like a friend, for something more. She wanted to think of a million different solutions to what she was feeling...she needed to run, she wanted to run like she normally did at the sight of these feelings, but she didn't...she wouldn't. She wasn't going to cause drama the night before her birthday. Maybe she could have a party? A party would be good, fun, and a way to get her mind off the situation...unless something dramatic were to happen tonight.
|
|
|
Post by sirius on Mar 10, 2006 18:33:05 GMT -5
Sirius laughed as he looked at Parker, joining in her laughter. The laughter died after he heard her question. He looked away from her and instead looked ahead of him, watched the tree rustle along with the wind. How was he to answer that? "Yeah, I've always wondered that. Yet it seems like that will never happen between us." He said, sighing sadly. His eyes clouded with sadness and regret. He had been so stupid, letting his temper get the better of him. He rolled his eyes at his own stupidity.
He looked over at her, wondering the same thing. What ddi she think about that? Could she answer her own question? He didn't dare ask though, not wanting her to get angry with him. That was the last thing he wanted right now. He had alot of crap on his plate at the moment without adding Parker being angry with him to it.
|
|
|
Post by Parker Williams on Mar 10, 2006 23:33:11 GMT -5
"Why? Why would it never be?" She said, saying what she was thinking rather than what she should've said. She should've just replied with a simple, 'Yeah'. But she didn't. She took her head off his shoulders and smirked at him as she spoke. "Why couldn't we work? Oh thats right...cause we're immature and stubborn and much too much alike." She said grinning now at him. But a thought occured to her. The reason they had fought so much was because they were flirts, they cheated on eachother and didn't truley want a relationship. So what was the only concievable safe way to be able to be with him again?
Simple. An open relationship. Friends with benefits if you will. They were in their last year of Hogwarts, why be commited now? Why not just have fun? Finish off the best year of their lives fun, with laughter, and a little lust. With absolute, pure fun. That was the only solution that she could come to. They would be together when they wanted, could concievably flirt with other people and even hook up with other people and it would be fine. But did Parker really want this...of course not. But it would be...the perfect test. She knew that he still had feelings for her, she could feel it...and she still had so many feelings for him, but she couldn't be sure. She could never be sure that he was mature enough, or liked her enough to be in a relationship with her. If he really did, he would agree to it, but he would only be with her, even if she flirted. She wanted him to prove that she was the only girl that he wanted to be with...that is assuming that he actually had more than platonic feelings for her.
"But theres always...I want to be with you. I know, forward much? But I just...I know that I have feelings for you, but forgive me for being persumtuous but niether of us have ever been able to commit to a relationship." She told him, now being completely serious with him. Could this actually work?
|
|
|
Post by sirius on Mar 13, 2006 15:55:10 GMT -5
Sirius had opened his mouth to respond to Parker's question of why they couldn't be together, but she had already answered her own question. He smirked and smiled. That was Parker for you. Always answering her own questions. Yet, that was one of the things he loved about her. Blimey! Hold up! Sirius Black! Have you gone mad? You can't possibly love her, can you? Can't you see she doesn't have feelings for you? Yet, his thoughts stopped and he was speechless, for once, as he heard her say that she still had feelings for him.
It felt like a slap in the face, her words did. He was so shocked, yet why was he? He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. It could work, couldn't it? He hadn't known it, but he was thinking the same thing as the Gryffindor next to him. They could still be flirtatious and stuff, yet he was going to prove to her that he could commit. That he would shy away when it came to committing. He would do it. He would show her he could do it. He smirked, knowing he probably looked like an idiot, just sitting there staring at her. A grin graced his handsome, yet haughty, features as he stared at her.
"I know I haven't been able to commit to a relationship," He started, vowing to prove to Parker he could commit and wouldn't be as flirtatious as usual, cross his heart. "But, I think it can work. I truely do. And if you have no objections, I would like to escort you and then spend the rest of the day with you on the next Hogsmeade trip, m'lady." He said, still grinning.
|
|
|
Post by Parker Williams on Mar 13, 2006 19:00:39 GMT -5
It wasn't that she didn't trust him. It was that she didn't trust either of them. She never, in her entire life, totally trusted her judgment. When she did trust her intuition, she was normally right, but she never truley did. And right now, her only solution was to not be in a totally committed relationship with him. Besides, she wanted to have fun this year. Her last year before she had to go out into the real war struck world. She still didn't know what she wanted to do after school. She'd been taking the required classes to be in the auror academy, but she wasn't sure if thats what she wanted to do anymore. Sure it would be adventurous, and definately fun...but at the same time she wanted to write, she wanted to be a reporter. [And after her friends death changed her name and became...RITA SKEETER! lol jk. But death'll do that to a person. lol.] She wanted to write, do something that might not nessacerily be the most noble profession ever, but she didn't want to be mainstream. She wanted to be freelance, live paycheck to paycheck, live in a flat with her best friends [maybe boyfriend?], she didn't want to conform to what the Daily Prophet was required by the ministry to write. She wanted to be better than that...rise above the hype and investigate things, get inside, find real information and sell it to the news. That was what real journalism was to her, and that was what she wanted her life to be. But at the same time, she could see herself saving lives, going through the academy and helping people with her best friends. It was a confusing conundrum for the blonde, but she was sure she would figure it out. Just like she was sure she could figure this out. The only apparent way to solve this was to have a sort of 'friends with benefits'. It was the absolute only thing she could think of that meant neither of them would get hurt. She spoke softly, but with a stoic, intense look in her eyes. "I think we should see eachother, but...Non exclusively. Before you say I'm crazy, that way we both have fun, but without the commitment. Neither of us can get hurt that way right?" She regretted the words. But how else would she know if he really wanted to be with her. She wanted this to work. She wanted to fall for him, but it was too difficult for her to fall in love at the drop of a hat. She wanted to see what would happen.
|
|
|
Post by sirius on Mar 14, 2006 15:40:06 GMT -5
Sirius listened to her words and sighed, running a hand through his hair yet again for what felt like the umpteenth time. "I guess....." He said, his voice trailing off. He didn't want to hurt her or hurt himself in return. He had a slightly hurt look upon his face as he looked down at the ground, his gaze focused on one piece of the dew-filled grass. She didn't trust him, that was it. She didn't trust him? Not that he could blame her. He hadn't exactly been very trustworthy lately, but how could he help it? He was Sirius Sage Black, the Prankster Prince and Breaker of Hearts, after all. But, he wanted to prove to Parker he could do it and he would, eventually.
Yet, as he gazed into her eyes, he could see that he was wrong. She did trust him, yet not fully. Yet, he knew what she was thinking. It wasn't that he didn't trust the beautiful female Gryffindor before him, it was that he didn't trust both of them. He hadn't exactly had good relationships in the past, him always breaking a girl's heart without even meaning or wanting to (hence the nickname 'Breaker of Hearts). He smiled at her. "So, you're saying we should just be friends with benifits?" He asked, not really fancying the idea much but whatever Parker wanted to do, he would follow.
|
|
|
Post by Parker Williams on Mar 15, 2006 22:25:35 GMT -5
Now he gets it. She knew that this wasn't what she wanted. She wanted him to prove himself, which was a sick game in some ways. But she wanted to make sure that he would fight for her. That he would get jealous, because she grew up. She had doubts, and fears, but she was growing up, and she wasn't the same flirty Parker anymore. This was what you get from age. She was scared of herself, yes...but not because she didn't trust herself. Because she was afraid that this descsion would screw things up royally, that her little test wouldn't work. And that when he did find out what she was doing, he would just...well be him. Stubborn and an asshole about it. But she'd been hurt before, and above all else, she wanted him to fight for her.
"Yeah, friends with benefits." She said softly, putting her most convincing face on, blonde hair shimmering in the subtle rays still left out on the horizon. She thought quickley about this last summer, about her father. She didn't want to be abandoned like that. Maybe friends with benefits wasn't such a good idea. Maybe she should just be with him, just trust someone for once, rather than being a cowardly, stubborn idiot.
"I mean no...I...I don't really want that. I'm insecure okay?!" She practically screamed. "I'm scared of getting hurt. And I thought that testing you would prove...I've never felt this way about anyone before, and I don't want to get hurt." She was simply being repetitive, angry about the thoughts that were circling her head. But she only continued on with what she was thinking. "I want you to fight for me, no matter what. Because you are my best friend and feeling this way...if it didn't work like last time...I couldn't deal with loosing you as a friend....I'm just...being an idiot." She surprised even herself, wanting nothing more than to speak the thoughts on her mind, but it was more like yelling them, which was the only way she thought she could get her point across.
|
|
|
Post by sirius on Mar 16, 2006 19:41:18 GMT -5
Sirius smiled at Parker, shaking his head in amusement, and grabbing her hand, giving it a reassuring squeeze. "Parker, always remember that I'm here for you and I care for you. I would never hurt you. And if I did, which will never happen, you can slap me." He said with a small smile. "I agree with you on the point that maybe friends with benefits isn't such a good idea. I want to be able to prove to you that I have more than just looks. I have a heart and one day I hope that heart will belong to you." He said, his voice uncharacteristically gentle and calm as he gave her a quick peck on the lips before walking over to the bleachers and having a seat. He glanced up at Parker, who seemed just slightly shocked yet amazed.
What had he done? He had kissed her, that's what he had done. Was it wrong to? Was that too fast of a move for them? Maybe he was going to fast. Maybe she wasn't ready to kiss him, just get to know him more than she had last time they had tried to date. He truely hoped she wasn't angry with him for kissing her. All he wanted was for someone to hold him in their arms and tell him that everything would be alright. He sincerely hoped that that someone was Parker, but you could never be sure with her. She could have so many mood swings that it could rival the phases of the moon at times.
|
|
|
Post by Parker Williams on Mar 16, 2006 20:16:17 GMT -5
Parker smirked at him as he walked over to the bleachers and sat down. This was so not Sirius, but Parker grinned anyways and said with a laugh. "You know, that was really cheesy." She wanted to crack up, but didn't only because he was being serious, or at least she thought he was. A part of her hoped he was that cheesy. Cause no one had ever said anything like that before. She walked over to the bleachers and sat next to him, grabbing her hand, entwining his fingers with hers. It felt right for some reason. She knew that somehow, she was going to make them work.
"Okay Boyfriend...so I'm thinking we should date. And if so, then I think that we should keep it a secret, at least until my party that the girls are planning, 'Oh-so-secretly'. We could make an appearance that only we could make. Plus I love being the center of attention, even though I will be anyways." She finished with a mischievious grin gracing her features. Her eyes were dancing with merriment. This could be fun. An awesome introduction to a relationship that she hoped would last, and something that would shock her friends. And they thought they were surprising her...
|
|
|
Post by sirius on Mar 16, 2006 20:21:37 GMT -5
Sirius smirked as he felt Parker slip neat to him, interlacing their fingers as she grabbed his hands. He looked at her, smiling. His dark eyes no longer clouded with misery but now with happiness and joy. This was the first time in what felt like ages that he felt truely and for once, happy. He couldn't ignore the tingle that went up his spine at Parker's touch. He looked away but at the mention of them going out and making grand entrance at her oh-so-secret party, he looked back at her, that infamous mischievous glint in his eyes.
"I agree. We will make an entrance that no one will forget." He said with a smirk as he stared at her. He couldn't help but stare at her. He hadn't exactly realized it before, seeing as how he had only thought of her as a best friend after thei break-up, but she was beautiful. A natural beauty. One that was rare to find at Hogwarts or any other place for that matter. That thouhgt only made him grin even more the broader.
|
|
|
Post by Parker Williams on Mar 17, 2006 21:02:01 GMT -5
She smiled over at him. She was never as comfortable with other guys as she was with him, so just sitting watching the final seconds of sun was perfectly fine with her. Sitting in silence. An entrance that nobody would forget, and impact that would shock her friends, but she wondered if it would really shock them. Would they even be surprised? She was, when she realized that she still had feelings for him and for a while, didn't want to believe it. This would be good though. Maybe they were finally grown up.
"Yeah...they'll be shocked." She said with mock amazment, grinning a sparkling smile over at him. She wanted so badly to kiss him, but she wasn't going to. No, for once, the blonde wanted to take things a little slower. Just a little. She rested her head on his shoulder and closed her eyes, still holding onto his hand. It was dark now, and the stars shone brighter than ever, which was somewhat ironic, but it fit. It fit perfectly, she felt a perfect sense of stability. She felt safe with him, and that was the most important thing.
|
|